This article examines the possibility that romantic love (with intensity, engagement, and sexual interest) can exist in long-term relationships. A review of taxonomies, theory, and research suggests that romantic love, without the obsession component typical of early stage romantic love, can and does exist in long-term marriages, and is associated with marital satisfaction, well-being, and high self-esteem.
Supporting the separate roles of romantic love and obsession in long-term relationships,
An analysis of a moderately large data set of community couples identified independent latent factors for romantic love and obsession and a subsample of individuals reporting very high levels of romantic love (but not obsession) even after controlling for social desirability. Finally, a meta-analysis of 25 relevant studies found that in long- and short-term relationships, romantic love (without obsession) was strongly associated with relationship satisfaction; but obsession was negatively correlated with it in long-term and positively in short-term relationships.
In contemporary Western culture, romantic love is deemed an
important part of marriage. Many individuals view romantic
love as a basis to marry (Dion & Dion, 1991) and its disappearance
as grounds to terminate marriage (Simpson, Campbell,
& Berscheid, 1986). Increasingly, romantic love and marriage
have come to be viewed as a source of self-fulfillment and
expression (Dion & Dion, 1991). Ironically though, it is widely
believed that over time romantic love fades and that at best it
evolves into a “warm afterglow” (Reik, 1944) of companionate
love, a friendship-type love. How then, could something that is
considered critical, if not the purpose of marrying, also be
assumed to die out inevitably?
Psychologists, therapists, and laypeople have puzzled over
the possibility of romantic love in long-term marriages. Some
have assumed that very high levels of romantic love in longterm
relationships might be inefficient, being metabolically
costly (e.g., Fisher, 2006) and perhaps even deterring the lover
from familial, work, and community obligations. Perhaps others
have been swayed by media reports highlighting the dark side
of love and marriage (e.g., high divorce rates, infidelity, stalking,
domestic violence, etc.). Last, maintaining the assumption
that romantic love cannot last allows those with good, but not
stellar relationships to maintain the status quo and avoid being
threatened by the possibility of high levels of love in long-term
In this article we argue that romantic love—with intensity,
engagement, and sexual interest— can last. Although it does not
usually include the obsessional qualities of early stage love, it does
not inevitably die out or at best turn into companionate love—a
warm, less intense love, devoid of attraction and sexual desire. We
suggest that romantic love in its later and early stages can share the
qualities of intensity, engagement, and sexual liveliness. We
briefly review relevant taxonomies, theoretical perspectives, and
research; present new analyses of an existing data set of long-term
couples; report a meta-analysis of the association of relationship
satisfaction with romantic love in long and short-term relationships;
review studies of long-term love’s relation to individual
well-being; and conclude with implications for theory, research,
and applications.
Sexual Dating And Relationship - Do They Always Lead To Sex?
How can there be a long friendship between a man and a woman without sex entering it? A friendship involves emotions and intimacy which can have only one logical conclusion - bed. Some male think they could have friendship with number of the opposite sex without eventually being sexually attracted to her.
Friendship is one of the most significant aspects of social existence, and social physiologists have made a study of it under the broader category of interpersonal attraction, feelings of liking which provide the foundation of friendship.
The simplest, most basic unit in which social interaction is possible is a dyad, consisting of two members. The term is used by social scientists to avoid the special and romantic association of words like 'couple' or 'pair' that is, any two persons interacting with each other.
There are many degrees of friendship ranging from a casual acquaintanceship to a deep, long-standing confiding relationship. The friendship based on virtue is the most permanent and stable relationship possible between two persons. The prerequisites for any king of direct interpersonal relationship is the close proximity of one individuals who live close to one another, are more likely to become friends than those who live some distance apart, and people who interact frequently are more likely to become friends than those who interact rarely. Friendship persists and grows spontaneously among individuals who have common interest, values and attitudes. That is, people of similar interest do tend to become friends.
Some people are attracted to others who compliment their ways and comportment. The satisfaction of needs also seems to be related to the question of interpersonal attraction. Studies demonstrate that persons tend to become attracted to others who can help them attain their own goals and aims. Friendship is supposed to involve some give and take (mutual satisfaction of needs). Any friendship which is selfishly exploitative would not last. Some of the virtues of friendship are clear motives, sincerity and straightforwardness which is acquired not merely by displaying emotional or physical intimacy but, with great sacrificial gesture.
Friendship is a relation which people voluntarily choose to bring about. And it is one in which the status of the partners is symmetrical. That is, a relationship of mutual respect exhibition. There is no doubt in the fact that, some people might be having different opinions as far as friendship and relationship are concerned. A person that is emotionally and sentimentally mesmerized will be having a special kind of attraction towards somebody, while the other person might just be regarding his or her gesture as that of a casual acquaintance. The propensity and proximity between the fact that a friendship will or not lead to sex is incontrovertible and inherent.
Friendship is one of the most significant aspects of social existence, and social physiologists have made a study of it under the broader category of interpersonal attraction, feelings of liking which provide the foundation of friendship.
The simplest, most basic unit in which social interaction is possible is a dyad, consisting of two members. The term is used by social scientists to avoid the special and romantic association of words like 'couple' or 'pair' that is, any two persons interacting with each other.
There are many degrees of friendship ranging from a casual acquaintanceship to a deep, long-standing confiding relationship. The friendship based on virtue is the most permanent and stable relationship possible between two persons. The prerequisites for any king of direct interpersonal relationship is the close proximity of one individuals who live close to one another, are more likely to become friends than those who live some distance apart, and people who interact frequently are more likely to become friends than those who interact rarely. Friendship persists and grows spontaneously among individuals who have common interest, values and attitudes. That is, people of similar interest do tend to become friends.
Some people are attracted to others who compliment their ways and comportment. The satisfaction of needs also seems to be related to the question of interpersonal attraction. Studies demonstrate that persons tend to become attracted to others who can help them attain their own goals and aims. Friendship is supposed to involve some give and take (mutual satisfaction of needs). Any friendship which is selfishly exploitative would not last. Some of the virtues of friendship are clear motives, sincerity and straightforwardness which is acquired not merely by displaying emotional or physical intimacy but, with great sacrificial gesture.
Friendship is a relation which people voluntarily choose to bring about. And it is one in which the status of the partners is symmetrical. That is, a relationship of mutual respect exhibition. There is no doubt in the fact that, some people might be having different opinions as far as friendship and relationship are concerned. A person that is emotionally and sentimentally mesmerized will be having a special kind of attraction towards somebody, while the other person might just be regarding his or her gesture as that of a casual acquaintance. The propensity and proximity between the fact that a friendship will or not lead to sex is incontrovertible and inherent.
Truth About Foreplay For Couple
Emotional foreplay refers to the sexually conducive thoughts and emotional connection needed to "get in the mood." Women are wired in a way that
requires emotional foreplay for them to get to where most men begin!
Music and movies are excellent sources for cultivating sexual readiness by
stirring romantic thoughts and emotions. Sometimes a song on the radio or
seeing a romantic movie can cause a flicker of arousing thoughts that if
welcomed, encouraged, and directed at our spouse can provide fuel for intimate
desire.The trick for husbands isto allow their wives to enjoy "mood movies" and "mood music" without any psychological pressure of strings attached.
FROLICKING FOREPLAY:First let’s divide frolicking foreplay into two parts, emotional and physical. Emotional foreplay is making our partner feel special and valued in and out of the bedroom. Without emotional foreplay no amount of physical foreplay will create the hot sizzling sex and the deep emotional intimacy we constantly crave.women are largely turned on by communication and through their emotions,It has been written that women need ten times more foreplay than men, so I am just repeating what I have read. So now you can see why just “bringing home the bacon” or just “being around” won’t be enough to light her fire. And foreplay must be a dance that goes on continually throughout the relationship,women are turned on by “emotional stimulation” the way men are aroused visually. Though more and more romance authors are leaning toward more erotic romance,In most cases, a woman’s libido is directly linked to emotions that revolve around romance and love. These emotions are a connected set of processes that involve physiological changes, such as heart rate, blood pressure and hormones circulating throughout the body—and these comprise the cornerstones of a woman’s sexual drive. Therefore, when a woman’s emotions are stirred by a romance novel, that’s a recipe for an emotional aphrodisiac. It’s like giving a woman emotional foreplay.As if is very liberal...in him she knew she found a man who was secured enough in himself to allow a woman to be really powerful and not to feel threathened..."
In the mood: 10 ways to fuel her desire
1.Practice emotional foreplay. Sultry French icon Brigitte Bardot said that sex begins early in the morning and ends when you go to sleep at night - meaning that the way you treat your lady throughout the day determines just how hot she'll be when you're ready to get horizontal. Make thoughtful ongoing efforts that say I care about you.
2.Control yourself. Show her that affection needn't always lead to sex. Women often resent the feeling that when a man gets close, it's meant as a prelude to rattling the bedposts. But when a woman feels that you crave her body as more than a sex toy, her uninhibited desire for you is free to emerge. So give her a massage and just hold her.
3.Pursue, pursue, pursue. For most women I know, a fine line exists between being pressured and being pursued - and we love to be pursued.
A woman who isn't otherwise in the mood can be infected by the magnetism of your desire if you persist in a stylish, seductive manner.Don't spout, sulk or withdraw affection. If you handle her refusal graciously, you'll score points that will lead to an enthusiastic "yes!" sooner rather than later.
4.Cross erogenous borders. A woman's excitement rises when a man makes love to all of her. You've probably heard that before, but try looking at it this way: A woman's body, from her arching brows to her carefully painted toes, is as hungry for stimulation as your penis. Imagine how you'd react if a woman thought she could satisfy you by rubbing a one-centimeter circle somewhere on the head of your favorite organ. Would that make you happy? Now think about making love with your partner. Do you think that simply stroking her clitoris - rich with nerve endings, but still one minuscule spot - is really going to make her want to repeat the whole process tomorrow? While women love orgasms, and stimulating the clitoris is a great way to induce them, what a woman will remember best is the fact that you aroused her to the melting point before you got your hands on the thermostat.Giving pleasure and knowing that it is being enjoyed is her own emotional foreplay I Sex is about you, making love is about both of you. When you just have sex, your partner becomes the means to an end — this is enough to make any woman feel lousy!Emotional intimacy is like a 7/24 foreplay. When we feel really close to each other,the mental foreplay never stops. Your mind is intimately connected all the time. Many couples have lost that connection and often end up living like roommates.
ways of intimacy
One the greatest desires of both men and women is to be truly understood, that is, for our mate and friends to really know how we feel and why. One of the greatest dimensions of love is the intimate exchange of being understood.Men are mostly stimulated by what they see, women are mostly stimulated by what they hear. Men say what they see (facts, commands, criticism), women say what they feel (intangibles, indirect responses, personal attributes). These type of things will provoke an undesirable response and will often drive their mate away.Men are factual and critical-black and white, Women are feeling and sensual--abstract:
• Say what you feel, not what to do. Say how it feels, not the facts.
Negative examples:
1. Down deep inside that makes me feel like crying when you bring that up not: When are you going to let go of that grudge.
2. Do you know how much it hurts when you are with someone else even if you don't supposedly care about them, not: Stop doing that shit with those guys.
3. Do you know how much I trust you, not: I can't believe you did that again.
Positive examples:
1. I really love it when you cook for me, not just: you are a great cook.
2. You make life so much more beautiful, you notice and cherish what everyone else takes for granted, not: ignoring her comment or saying “don't be so silly, or enough already, or you get so excited over nothing”.
3. “That turns me on” not: “do that some more” or “keep going” or silence/no comment.
• Women and even people in general will not condemn or argue about how you feel about something, but you do invite strife with commands and statements of fact. We men have to look to why we want to issue a command or make a statement. There is always a feeling causing the command or factual statement that will bring intimacy and deeper connection/respect with our mate if we learn to express them.
• Old proverb: A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up strife and anger.
Understanding Submission
Women are designed for complete submission; men are supposed to be designed to bring women into submission. However, most men don't have a clue about true submission. It is the most intimate facet of a relationship. It is the ultimate expression of love.
Simply put, submission is one the greatest deep down desires of women. Without this fulfillment they are frustrated and feeling some degree of emptiness in their relationship, and will be venerable to the words and power of a stranger. Complete fulfillment of a woman's heart only comes by her willing and complete submission to the right man. Women are designed emotionally to submit. But just because most women desire to submit or surrender all to their mate does not mean they will do so easily. Their intense desire to submit/surrender all will only be bestowed as a precious gift to a trustworthy man that knows how to graciously but powerfully bring her into submission.
Women who are not in complete submission with their mate are venerable and could easily find themselves in an affair. Some women who have been hurt will have a hard, bitter, and/or a cold façade that may never be penetrated to allow the flow of true love and submission. Unfortunately, most men have the wrong idea about submission. Submission is neither slavery nor servitude. Submission is a gift, a free act of surrender motivated by love and supported by trust. Submission only comes by a willing heart and cannot be forced nor demanded. Submission is not obedience to the commands and desires of non-giving type man. Submission is more like the surrendering and giving of one's soul to her mate that is passionate, caring, and giving yet powerful and in complete control. Submission is not physical, but it does have its ultimate expression in the act of lovemaking. Submission is earned not taken, intimate not degrading, is love and not absolute control.
Other Subjects to Explore
ROMANCE: Women love romance, observe and learn about romance. Much of romance is simply treating a woman right down to the last detail. It is like emotional foreplay and should not be taken lightly. Romance is like all out adoring your woman with a bit of mystery and control. It is also like treating a woman with class and loving expression yet with power and strength. Romance also involves a bit of a chase which women absolutely love. Men have some natural ability to romance the woman they fall for when they first fall, but many can stumble into a trap after the relationship has peaked or matured to thinking romance is fake or a put on. True, some men are naturally more romantic than others, but all have some of it when they first fall for a woman and do strange things to win her. Here is a truth that we men must embrace to keep our woman happy: WE MUST ALMOST ROMANCE HER JUST AS MUCH TO KEEP HER AS WE DID TO WIN HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, and if it was not fake then, then it is not fake now if you want to keep the one you love.
ORDER/PRIORITIES: The house must be in order. Love is severely undermined when things are out of order:
• Basic order of life: God, spouse, family, career.
• There must be the right kind of separation from both sides of parents. Both she and he must hold a higher position in the other's heart and actions than the in-laws.
• Finances must be in order, or at least headed that direction by earnest efforts. Responsible spending and earning must be a joint effort.
• Man of character. She will have a hard time loving any man that does things to undermine his own character. Things of this nature can range from stealing to selling drugs to running from the law to doing hateful things to others to condemning others to violence to cheating others to lying to hatred of God or those that represent Him and so on. In a woman's heart, a man's character can also be severely damaged by what he allows or does nothing about.
COMMUNICATION: It is true that in most cases words without actions is meaningless, but it is also true that actions without words results in a cold, dead relationship. Love must find expression in both word and deed. Humans need to be affirmed daily. It is important to recognize that the more that is said about something, the bigger it gets, this works both in the positive and negative way. For example, if you tell her that she is a bitch (even if it is a statement of fact) and always complain about the way she is (without ever expressing your feelings), then the more she will respond that way and the more you expect her to, even when sometimes she is not. On the other hand, you tell her about how turned on she makes you, how beautiful she is, how great the sex is in many ways, the bigger and better the sex will be (it will grow).
TRUTH: Lying at any time or circumstance undermines every truth that one speaks. It is better never to lie, because your words become more powerful and easy to be embraced. It is hard for oneself to believe his own words if he lies often, yet alone to be believed by another person. Truth is always better, even if kept silent. Truth is the only way one can achieve the highest level of intimacy and exchange with his mate.
SEX: Men need to find out all they can about sex and not assume that they learned the right way. There are many books and even videos about the mental and physical aspects of sex. The key to success here is one's attitude: BE CONFIDENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND KNOW, BUT ALWAYS STRIVE TO PLEASE AND LEARN MORE IN EVERY WAY YOU CAN!
requires emotional foreplay for them to get to where most men begin!
Music and movies are excellent sources for cultivating sexual readiness by
stirring romantic thoughts and emotions. Sometimes a song on the radio or
seeing a romantic movie can cause a flicker of arousing thoughts that if
welcomed, encouraged, and directed at our spouse can provide fuel for intimate
desire.The trick for husbands isto allow their wives to enjoy "mood movies" and "mood music" without any psychological pressure of strings attached.
FROLICKING FOREPLAY:First let’s divide frolicking foreplay into two parts, emotional and physical. Emotional foreplay is making our partner feel special and valued in and out of the bedroom. Without emotional foreplay no amount of physical foreplay will create the hot sizzling sex and the deep emotional intimacy we constantly crave.women are largely turned on by communication and through their emotions,It has been written that women need ten times more foreplay than men, so I am just repeating what I have read. So now you can see why just “bringing home the bacon” or just “being around” won’t be enough to light her fire. And foreplay must be a dance that goes on continually throughout the relationship,women are turned on by “emotional stimulation” the way men are aroused visually. Though more and more romance authors are leaning toward more erotic romance,In most cases, a woman’s libido is directly linked to emotions that revolve around romance and love. These emotions are a connected set of processes that involve physiological changes, such as heart rate, blood pressure and hormones circulating throughout the body—and these comprise the cornerstones of a woman’s sexual drive. Therefore, when a woman’s emotions are stirred by a romance novel, that’s a recipe for an emotional aphrodisiac. It’s like giving a woman emotional foreplay.As if is very liberal...in him she knew she found a man who was secured enough in himself to allow a woman to be really powerful and not to feel threathened..."
In the mood: 10 ways to fuel her desire
1.Practice emotional foreplay. Sultry French icon Brigitte Bardot said that sex begins early in the morning and ends when you go to sleep at night - meaning that the way you treat your lady throughout the day determines just how hot she'll be when you're ready to get horizontal. Make thoughtful ongoing efforts that say I care about you.
2.Control yourself. Show her that affection needn't always lead to sex. Women often resent the feeling that when a man gets close, it's meant as a prelude to rattling the bedposts. But when a woman feels that you crave her body as more than a sex toy, her uninhibited desire for you is free to emerge. So give her a massage and just hold her.
3.Pursue, pursue, pursue. For most women I know, a fine line exists between being pressured and being pursued - and we love to be pursued.
A woman who isn't otherwise in the mood can be infected by the magnetism of your desire if you persist in a stylish, seductive manner.Don't spout, sulk or withdraw affection. If you handle her refusal graciously, you'll score points that will lead to an enthusiastic "yes!" sooner rather than later.
4.Cross erogenous borders. A woman's excitement rises when a man makes love to all of her. You've probably heard that before, but try looking at it this way: A woman's body, from her arching brows to her carefully painted toes, is as hungry for stimulation as your penis. Imagine how you'd react if a woman thought she could satisfy you by rubbing a one-centimeter circle somewhere on the head of your favorite organ. Would that make you happy? Now think about making love with your partner. Do you think that simply stroking her clitoris - rich with nerve endings, but still one minuscule spot - is really going to make her want to repeat the whole process tomorrow? While women love orgasms, and stimulating the clitoris is a great way to induce them, what a woman will remember best is the fact that you aroused her to the melting point before you got your hands on the thermostat.Giving pleasure and knowing that it is being enjoyed is her own emotional foreplay I Sex is about you, making love is about both of you. When you just have sex, your partner becomes the means to an end — this is enough to make any woman feel lousy!Emotional intimacy is like a 7/24 foreplay. When we feel really close to each other,the mental foreplay never stops. Your mind is intimately connected all the time. Many couples have lost that connection and often end up living like roommates.
ways of intimacy
One the greatest desires of both men and women is to be truly understood, that is, for our mate and friends to really know how we feel and why. One of the greatest dimensions of love is the intimate exchange of being understood.Men are mostly stimulated by what they see, women are mostly stimulated by what they hear. Men say what they see (facts, commands, criticism), women say what they feel (intangibles, indirect responses, personal attributes). These type of things will provoke an undesirable response and will often drive their mate away.Men are factual and critical-black and white, Women are feeling and sensual--abstract:
• Say what you feel, not what to do. Say how it feels, not the facts.
Negative examples:
1. Down deep inside that makes me feel like crying when you bring that up not: When are you going to let go of that grudge.
2. Do you know how much it hurts when you are with someone else even if you don't supposedly care about them, not: Stop doing that shit with those guys.
3. Do you know how much I trust you, not: I can't believe you did that again.
Positive examples:
1. I really love it when you cook for me, not just: you are a great cook.
2. You make life so much more beautiful, you notice and cherish what everyone else takes for granted, not: ignoring her comment or saying “don't be so silly, or enough already, or you get so excited over nothing”.
3. “That turns me on” not: “do that some more” or “keep going” or silence/no comment.
• Women and even people in general will not condemn or argue about how you feel about something, but you do invite strife with commands and statements of fact. We men have to look to why we want to issue a command or make a statement. There is always a feeling causing the command or factual statement that will bring intimacy and deeper connection/respect with our mate if we learn to express them.
• Old proverb: A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up strife and anger.
Understanding Submission
Women are designed for complete submission; men are supposed to be designed to bring women into submission. However, most men don't have a clue about true submission. It is the most intimate facet of a relationship. It is the ultimate expression of love.
Simply put, submission is one the greatest deep down desires of women. Without this fulfillment they are frustrated and feeling some degree of emptiness in their relationship, and will be venerable to the words and power of a stranger. Complete fulfillment of a woman's heart only comes by her willing and complete submission to the right man. Women are designed emotionally to submit. But just because most women desire to submit or surrender all to their mate does not mean they will do so easily. Their intense desire to submit/surrender all will only be bestowed as a precious gift to a trustworthy man that knows how to graciously but powerfully bring her into submission.
Women who are not in complete submission with their mate are venerable and could easily find themselves in an affair. Some women who have been hurt will have a hard, bitter, and/or a cold façade that may never be penetrated to allow the flow of true love and submission. Unfortunately, most men have the wrong idea about submission. Submission is neither slavery nor servitude. Submission is a gift, a free act of surrender motivated by love and supported by trust. Submission only comes by a willing heart and cannot be forced nor demanded. Submission is not obedience to the commands and desires of non-giving type man. Submission is more like the surrendering and giving of one's soul to her mate that is passionate, caring, and giving yet powerful and in complete control. Submission is not physical, but it does have its ultimate expression in the act of lovemaking. Submission is earned not taken, intimate not degrading, is love and not absolute control.
Other Subjects to Explore
ROMANCE: Women love romance, observe and learn about romance. Much of romance is simply treating a woman right down to the last detail. It is like emotional foreplay and should not be taken lightly. Romance is like all out adoring your woman with a bit of mystery and control. It is also like treating a woman with class and loving expression yet with power and strength. Romance also involves a bit of a chase which women absolutely love. Men have some natural ability to romance the woman they fall for when they first fall, but many can stumble into a trap after the relationship has peaked or matured to thinking romance is fake or a put on. True, some men are naturally more romantic than others, but all have some of it when they first fall for a woman and do strange things to win her. Here is a truth that we men must embrace to keep our woman happy: WE MUST ALMOST ROMANCE HER JUST AS MUCH TO KEEP HER AS WE DID TO WIN HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, and if it was not fake then, then it is not fake now if you want to keep the one you love.
ORDER/PRIORITIES: The house must be in order. Love is severely undermined when things are out of order:
• Basic order of life: God, spouse, family, career.
• There must be the right kind of separation from both sides of parents. Both she and he must hold a higher position in the other's heart and actions than the in-laws.
• Finances must be in order, or at least headed that direction by earnest efforts. Responsible spending and earning must be a joint effort.
• Man of character. She will have a hard time loving any man that does things to undermine his own character. Things of this nature can range from stealing to selling drugs to running from the law to doing hateful things to others to condemning others to violence to cheating others to lying to hatred of God or those that represent Him and so on. In a woman's heart, a man's character can also be severely damaged by what he allows or does nothing about.
COMMUNICATION: It is true that in most cases words without actions is meaningless, but it is also true that actions without words results in a cold, dead relationship. Love must find expression in both word and deed. Humans need to be affirmed daily. It is important to recognize that the more that is said about something, the bigger it gets, this works both in the positive and negative way. For example, if you tell her that she is a bitch (even if it is a statement of fact) and always complain about the way she is (without ever expressing your feelings), then the more she will respond that way and the more you expect her to, even when sometimes she is not. On the other hand, you tell her about how turned on she makes you, how beautiful she is, how great the sex is in many ways, the bigger and better the sex will be (it will grow).
TRUTH: Lying at any time or circumstance undermines every truth that one speaks. It is better never to lie, because your words become more powerful and easy to be embraced. It is hard for oneself to believe his own words if he lies often, yet alone to be believed by another person. Truth is always better, even if kept silent. Truth is the only way one can achieve the highest level of intimacy and exchange with his mate.
SEX: Men need to find out all they can about sex and not assume that they learned the right way. There are many books and even videos about the mental and physical aspects of sex. The key to success here is one's attitude: BE CONFIDENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND KNOW, BUT ALWAYS STRIVE TO PLEASE AND LEARN MORE IN EVERY WAY YOU CAN!
Attaining Orgasm
What happens physically to a woman when she gets sexually aroused? When you first excite a woman, her body goes through a number of physical changes. The most noticeable change you go through is the erection of your penis. A woman's vulva becomes congested with blood, just as your penis does. The labia majora swell and this causes them to draw back, exposing the inner lips and the entrance to the vagina. The inner lips may swell and change to a darker pink. The clitoris may also swell and stiffen. Another noticeable effect of sexual excitement in a woman's body is the secretion of lubricant by glands inside the walls of the vagina. This prepares the vagina for the insertion of your erect penis.Your partner's nipples will / may stiffen and her breasts can swell. Her vagina will relax and deepen to give your penis plenty of room. How can I tell if she's having an orgasm? She will first feel her orgasm in the lower section of her vagina. The vagina will begin to contract rapidly and her anal muscles will contract involuntarily. Her urethra muscles go through the same spasm. During your partner's orgasm, her nipples will remain erect. Immediately after orgasm, her vagina will become very juicy with lubricant. The nipples gradually soften and the vulva loses its swelling.
The Power Of Errogenous Zone During Foreplay
What should I do with my hands when I am kissing her? What you do with your hands is very important in arousing a woman. As the kissing goes on fondle her through her clothes. Gently caress her breasts and locate her nipples through the garment. While you are kissing her lips and massaging her breasts, begin to unbutton, unzip, or slip down the top of her garment. As you are pulling her garment down, kiss along her sensual areas. The key to undressing is to take a lot of time with each item of clothing and as you remove each part of her clothing show special attention to that area.
Where are her erogenous (sensitive) zones? Each body part is an erogenous zone, so treat it accordingly. Take it portion by portion. Rushing shows little confidence, so take it slow. Remember the best takes time. Pay special attention to these sensitive areas: Toes, lips, lower back, gums, teeth, tongue, nipples, earlobes, eyebrows, buttocks, ears, temple, inside of thigh. Why is teasing so important? A woman wants self control in a lover. Bringing her slowly to what she wants Sexually is the key to all female pleasure. Be patient and wait until she is delirious, craving and begging for you. Women love it when a man takes time to get to the point and just simply delays for a while. Until a woman's desire is intense, she enjoys being touched non-directly. For example, before a man should touch her breasts, he first should circle them for a while, getting closer and closer. Instead of just touching a woman in her most sensitive places, a woman wants to be teased or led up to the place where she is longing to be touched. You need to remember and focus on delaying direct stimulation to increase a woman's pleasure. You should never touch a woman between the legs until you are sure she is wet. A skillful male will first stimulate a woman's least sensitive areas first, defined above. The best way to tease a woman is by giving a little and then backing up to start over again.
Where are her erogenous (sensitive) zones? Each body part is an erogenous zone, so treat it accordingly. Take it portion by portion. Rushing shows little confidence, so take it slow. Remember the best takes time. Pay special attention to these sensitive areas: Toes, lips, lower back, gums, teeth, tongue, nipples, earlobes, eyebrows, buttocks, ears, temple, inside of thigh. Why is teasing so important? A woman wants self control in a lover. Bringing her slowly to what she wants Sexually is the key to all female pleasure. Be patient and wait until she is delirious, craving and begging for you. Women love it when a man takes time to get to the point and just simply delays for a while. Until a woman's desire is intense, she enjoys being touched non-directly. For example, before a man should touch her breasts, he first should circle them for a while, getting closer and closer. Instead of just touching a woman in her most sensitive places, a woman wants to be teased or led up to the place where she is longing to be touched. You need to remember and focus on delaying direct stimulation to increase a woman's pleasure. You should never touch a woman between the legs until you are sure she is wet. A skillful male will first stimulate a woman's least sensitive areas first, defined above. The best way to tease a woman is by giving a little and then backing up to start over again.
Using Of Hands During Foreplay
What is foreplay? Foreplay is anything before the act of intercourse that gets you excited. It takes women a lot longer time than men to get aroused. A woman needs a lot of kissing, caressing, and caring words. Wherever you begin, make sure it's comfortable and private. You want no interruptions. How important is kissing? Kissing is a great form of foreplay. It can also be wildly exciting in itself. Start your kissing slow and gentle, but be firm and authoritative. Don't immediately open your mouth. Focus on using your lips to kiss her cheeks, her chin, and her neck. Then you can draw her lower lip into your mouth and run the tip of your tongue across her teeth. Caress her while you are kissing her. When you start to use your tongue, try to keep your tongue slightly pointed and play little games with her tongue. Try focusing on teasing her a little. One thing you also might want to do is explore her gum line a little. That area can be very sensitive.
The Importance Of Foreplay
Foreplay is a critical and crucial part of the whole lovemaking experience. It is simply define as everything that comes before actual intercourse. A couple needs foreplay to spice up their sex life, get fully aroused and heighten pleasure. Men are from Mars. Sometimes men need prolonged foreplay to get an erection. Foreplay for men is relatively simple and easy. The direct touching of the genitals usually does the trick. But for those women, who want to tantalize their men into submission remember these five foreplay-for-him maneuvers. 1. Visuals play a vital role, so a sexy clothe would be a nice touch but giving him an unadulterated view of your body will be the hottest gift. Reinforce this view with some steamy moves guaranteed to thrill, like giving him a strip tease. 2. Let your parted lips roam his body, like his stomach or chest, then slowly exhale. The rush of hot air will change the temperature in his skin and heighten his arousal. 3. Seize control and show your animal instinct. You’ll be surprise to know that men crave seduction as much as a woman and being aggressive is a sign of lust and that you’re as into it as he is. 4. Excite them with touch. Guys are especially touchy when they are between the sheets. Giving him butt massages and long but gentle scratches up and down their back will turn your fella right on. 5. Do what ever it is you are doing to bring him to the brink. Then ease up, not necessarily stopping, but put off the good thing for a while. Do this a few times until he screams “enough already.” Women are from Venus. Women need foreplay to become properly lubricated. For women foreplay is a bit more complicated. Direct genital touching is the last place you should go, consider every where else on her body as a good place to touch, massage and kiss before you go there. Letting her know that she is wanted for more than sex, that she is cared about as a woman, is what really turns her on. Here is a five step plan to help her get ready. 1. Nothing is more important to a woman than knowing that you have a connection. It can be as simple as telling her that you were thinking about her, and missed her, nothing over-the-top, just honest and caring conversation. 2. Remember that being intimate does not have to mean being sexual. Once in a while ask her probing questions and give her more than one-word replies when she asks you the same. Confide in her, and let her know that you appreciate her listening. 3. Establish physical contact without being sexual, like holding her hand, giving her massages, do anything to simply make contact without mauling her. 4. Kissing, for women, is an incredible turn on. You have to remember that women sees kissing as another form of emotional intimacy so do not go to a lot of tongue action right away. It will be good to start with a brief caressing of lips and pay attention to whether or not she’s digging it. If she is, continue from there with a bit more passion but always be aware of whether she is reciprocating. A great trick is to imitate her kissing style, as it’s surely a sign of what she likes!
5. Remember that from kissing her until the “heavy petting” stage, there should be some interval in between. The duration of the kiss will depend on how hot and bothered you both get. The longer and slower you kiss her, the more experienced you’ll seem, and the she’ll be excited. There is no time limit on foreplay, usually the longer it takes the more sensitized your skin becomes and sends your senses to haywire that leads to explosive orgasm. The key is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time controlling their desires. Remember that initiating sex, breaking routine, exploration, new places, new positions, letting him/her know that he/she is wanted sexually is what turns your partner on.
5. Remember that from kissing her until the “heavy petting” stage, there should be some interval in between. The duration of the kiss will depend on how hot and bothered you both get. The longer and slower you kiss her, the more experienced you’ll seem, and the she’ll be excited. There is no time limit on foreplay, usually the longer it takes the more sensitized your skin becomes and sends your senses to haywire that leads to explosive orgasm. The key is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time controlling their desires. Remember that initiating sex, breaking routine, exploration, new places, new positions, letting him/her know that he/she is wanted sexually is what turns your partner on.
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